“I feel like a fraud. Any day now I’m going to be found out. I’ve just been lucky to get where I am.”

These were the things I said to myself the first day of a new job as a head of a department working for a major global advertising agency. I sat at my new desk, staring at my business cards and thought - this is a total joke. Do they really know who they’ve taken on! I almost laughed to myself at the absurdity of me landing this job.

I was experiencing a major case of imposter syndrome. But I didn’t know then what I know now. I didn’t know what it was or how to overcome it and so set about overworking to prove to myself that I was worthy. It didn’t always go so well and came at a huge cost to my sense of self and sometimes by wellbeing. Understanding it is often the first step to loosening its grip.

“Imposter syndrome is real and it can be overcome”

What is imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is the persistent feeling that your success isn't real or isn't really yours. It's the internal experience of believing you're less competent than others perceive you to be, despite clear evidence of your skills and accomplishments.

People experiencing it often:

• Attribute their achievements to luck, timing, or other people, rather than their own ability

• Fear of being ‘found out’ as a fraud

• Discount praise or feedback that contradicts their self-doubt

• Hold themselves to impossibly high standards, then feel like a failure when they fall short of perfection

• Over-prepare or overwork to compensate for feeling ‘not enough’

It shows up in high-achievers, seasoned executives, first-time entrepreneurs and everyone in between. Believe it or not, it's often the people doing the most impressive work who feel it most acutely, because they can see, more clearly than anyone, everything they don't yet know. And because we are all our own worst critics!

Why does it happen?

Imposter syndrome isn't a character flaw or a sign that something is wrong with you. It tends to show up for understandable reasons:

1. New territory triggers self-doubt. Whenever we step into a new role, industry, or level of responsibility, our brain doesn't have a track record or evidence to draw confidence from yet. Uncertainty gets misinterpreted as inadequacy. Then we create an internal dialogue that reinforces critical thought patterns.

2. Comparison culture. We compare our behind-the-scenes reality (the drafts, the doubts, the mistakes) to everyone else's highlight reel. Of course we come up short in that comparison, it isn't a fair one.

3. Perfectionism. When your bar for success is ‘flawless’, almost nothing you do will ever feel like enough, no matter how objectively good it is.

4. Upbringing and early messaging. Many people grew up in environments where achievement was tied closely to worth, or where praise was rare, or where they were told they were ‘the smart one’ or ‘the exception’. These messages can subconsciously wire us to feel like we're always one mistake away from disproving them.

5. Being in rooms that weren't built with you in mind. For people who are underrepresented in their field, whether by gender, race, background, age or path into an industry, imposter feelings can be compounded by a lack of visible role models or a genuine sense of not quite fitting the mould.

The key thing to understand is that imposter syndrome is usually a sign that you care about doing good work and that you're growing, not a sign that you can't do it.

What can I do about it?

The goal isn't to eliminate self-doubt completely, a little uncertainty keeps us humble and curious. The goal is to stop that doubt from being in the driver's seat.

1. Name it when it shows up. Simply recognising it is a great first step: ‘ah, this is imposter syndrome talking’ creates a small but powerful gap between you and the thought. It stops feeling like fact and starts feeling like a familiar pattern you can observe.

2. Separate feelings from facts. Feeling incompetent and being incompetent are two very different things. Ask yourself: what's the actual evidence here? What would I say to a friend who felt this way about their own work? Ask yourself if you this is your inner critic talking.

3. Keep a record of proof. Our brains are wired to remember criticism and forget praise. Keep a running note of positive feedback, wins and things you've learned. Read it back when the doubt gets loud.

4. Redefine competence. Being competent doesn't mean knowing everything. It means being capable of figuring things out, asking good questions and learning as you go. Every expert you admire is still doing exactly that.

5. Talk about it. Imposter syndrome thrives in secrecy because it convinces you that you're the only one who feels this way. Saying it out loud to a trusted colleague, mentor or coach almost always reveals that others feel it too, and that in itself can be a huge relief.

6. Work with a coach. This is exactly the kind of thought pattern that coaching can help with. A good coaching relationship gives you a space to unpack where these beliefs come from, challenge the stories that no longer serve you and build genuine, grounded confidence rather than just feeling like you’re ‘faking it’. This allows you to create resources and confidence based not on ignoring your doubts, but confidence based on understanding yourself clearly enough to move forward anyway.

The bottom line

Imposter syndrome isn't proof that you don't belong. Often, it's proof that you're stretching, growing and doing work that matters to you. The feeling doesn't have to disappear entirely for you to move forward with clarity and confidence, it just has to stop being the loudest voice in the room (your head).

If this resonates with you and you'd like to work through your thoughts and feelings around imposter syndrome, confidence and your inner critic, I'd love to help. Get in touch or book a free discovery call with me.